My week!!

I know that i haven't talked to most of you about the accident, so i thought i would try and share as much as i could.

Saturday evening when we initially got the call that David had just been killed in a motorcycle accident i was hysterical. My first question to his aunt who called me was "where are the girls?" Once i found out that they were okay, i dropped the phone and told Joseph thru gasps. He was really worried about me at that point and needed to take some time to calm down himself b/c he knew he had to drive me. Within minutes the Fraleys droped Hunter off b/c he had gone with them to a wedding, and he immediately called them to come back. Before they could get back Tammy had gotten there b/c his aunt had called her house first. Once She got there she called back to find out where the girls were b/c once i heard that they were okay, i didn't pay much attention to much else. The Fraleys prayed with us b/f we left and Joseph, myself, Tammy, Hunter and D.J headed over to Davids mothers which is where the girls were. Any other time we would've went back road to get there but something (the Holy Spirit) told Joseph to go Hwy 84. If we had went the back way we would've come upon the scene and I don't think i would've been as calm as i was with the girls if i had seen that. Once we got to the girls, we found out that they didn't know anything but that there had been an accident, they didn't know that their Daddy was involved. Joseph and I along with Tammy and D.J. and Hunter had to tell them. Well Joseph did. It took Katie a minute to really break down but it took Kristen even longer and then it wasn't what i expected. It is almost as if she had a mad look on her face, mad at the world, mad at God, mad at her Daddy, i don't know. Kristen pulled herself together quickly and began to tell us that she heard the crash and called th police. His family started arriving about an hour later and the girls were acting on the emotion of them and cried all the way home. Our Childrens pastors and another friend of mine come over within minutes of us arriving home and the girls seemed to be doing fine. They actually were playing with the other kids that were there. Joseph and I got no sleep that night worring bout the girls and really having a difficult time ourselves. Sunday Kristen and Katie were in Kings Kids with me and during praise and worship Kristen was praising and raising her hands and then she disappeared into the restroom. I let her be for a few minutes but then checked on her and she was just standing in there, no tears, no emotion just in there. I asked her if she was okay and she said "I don't know" shrugged her shoulders, and that was her answer for everything i asked. I finally just said that i was going back out there and she followed me out and i went outside and had my cry. At this point i am crying worring about her and about the situation. Well i pull myself together and come back in to find the kids writing down prayer request and Katie wanted to pray for her daddy, and Kristen got mad and screamed across the table and said "you can't he is already gone" then just laid her head down, but still never shed a tear. Belinda (children's pastor) turned service over to me and took Kristen to her office and she said that Kristen broke down with her. Belinda come out a few minutes later but no Kristen so i assumed she wanted to be alone, but no she pulled herself together and come out and you never even knew she had been crying. She thinks she is too tough to cry. Anyway everything seemed to be normal routine for them. I did send them to school Monday and Kristen was told things we didn't want her to ever know (details of wreck) but they said the newspaper said these things which they didn't so i was able to steer her away from some of those thoughts. the girls and I went to Davids parents house on Monday evening just to spend some time and on the way out there Kristen asked me to go by the crash site, and i wouldn't b/c i didn't think she could handle it. Well when we got ready to leave his moms they were headed over there and Kristen asked again and after much talk of trying to convince her she didn't need to she said she wanted to. So i followed them over there with the girls and Kristen walked right over to it and run her fingers thru the blood where her daddy's head laid. She is so strong, she still never shed a tear, she got back into the truck and just said "moma that was alot of blood" and of course i said "yea it was". I explained to them then that it was going to be closed casket and they asked what it meant and i told them that they wouldn't be able to see him in there. They both immediatey ask "why" so when i got home Joseph and I tried to explain why without going into too much detail. My girls are smart and asked questions we weren't comfortable with but Joseph handled them well. Wednesday b/f the visitation i checked them out of school and we went to get supplies to make something to put in casket and Kristen saw a motorcycle and asked if I would paint it like his bike. So I did and Katie got a bouquet of roses. They each made cards for him. We got to the church and i was almost in a panic attack as we walked up, there were a ton of people there and of course everyone had their eyes on the girls. They each walked in after being stopped by several people but walked right up and layed all their stuff up there. Kristen did very slowly but she didn't shed a tear and neither did Katie. Katie follows Kristens lead. Joseph and I went and sat and talked with some very good friends of Davids while the girls just visited and mingled emotionless. I don't get it!!! Well the funeral was the same way, just no emotions at all. Before the service the casket was opened for the family and i wouldn't allow the girls to go in. I really in my heart think that i made the right decision. Ms. Kim (his mother) said it did look like him from the nose down but from the nose up was in pretty bad shape. It made Kim feel better to know that he was in there but I still don't believe my girls needed to see that. Kim, his dad and his sisters were at the wreck scene and saw him before he was cleaned up and at his worst so the damage was done to them already, my girls were still blind to that and i wanted it to stay that way. "I can only imagine", "I will see you in the morning", "Amazing Grace" and "The Dance" were all sang or played and that was pretty emotional for Joseph and I but the girls still nothing. The burial was in Kingston in a very beautiful cemetary and it was very emotional there. I walked over to the girls and let them know they could get some flowers from the spray and both did but just wasn't emotional at all. I broke down just helping them get their flower. I let them go back to the church with his sister so that they wouldn't have us to lean on so much and would be with the family. Joseph and I went back to get them around 5:00 and they are going to his sisters today for the weekend. Please keep remembering them in your prayers for the weeks to come.